Hoagie is a roommate of Bernard Bernoulli and Laverne. His default inventory item is a can opener, for unspecified reasons. In his attempt to travel in time he ends up 200 years in the past, outside the inn of Red Edison.
- He had a career as a roadie, and he learned bowling that way.
- People seem to confide to Hoagie and he is a useful repository of information if it can be cnveyed in small words.
- He has a tattoo saying "If at first you don't succeed, try a bigger hammer"
- His t-shirt is the interface of Full Throttle.